three words. the computer. and my story

Proverbs 4:7 says "Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding."

inspiration. information. insight (i.e. wisdom).

How are these three words related? More specifically, what do they have to do with the computer? =)

Well, as you may have noticed, I haven't been as bloggy lately. In fact, I think I've had one or two posts per month for the past several months. For awhile, I was working to be more consistent so that people would keep reading...so it's pretty "bad" to neglect my blog so thoroughly! Who wants to visit if I only pop-in once a month?

However, it hasn't been just my blog that I've been spending less time on. It's been the computer in general. Could I chalk it up to this season of life? New baby, crazy life for awhile, moving, settling in...sure, that's a lot. But plenty of folks manage to keep up with blogs through crazier times, no?

So there must be something else. Yes, there is. My relationship with my computer has changed. A lot.

It began gradually. Before Graeme's birth, the computer opened up a whole new world to me. I discovered a whole sister-hood of women who did parenting differently than the mainstream. Wow, was it fascinating! I spent hours perusing websites, jotting notes, printing articles...trying to figure out cloth-diapering, whether to vaccinate, how long to breastfeed, when to introduce solids. And after Graeme was born, that didn't change. Not only was the whole Momma thing new - so much of what I was trying to do was "weird" and I knew no one "in real life" who did it: cloth diapering, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, delaying solids, green cleaning, mama cloth, holistic medicine, naturally treating common childhood illnesses, not vaccinating. And I spent a lot of time with the computer.

Too much. I'd let Graeme watch "one more" video, or wait just an extra minute to go get him when he woke up from his nap so that I could finish a particular train of research or a post on a forum. Granted, I gleaned a heap of information from this period of time. Indeed, I was greatly helped by many a forum post or chat with another Mama who gave me helpful information...sometimes even critical information, as Graeme went through a series of ear infections. But we all know how easy it is for one-thing-to-lead-to-another in the world of the Web. You can start by looking up one thing and an hour goes by, seemingly without a blink. Boy, did I become informed, though!

While Mark was gone for OCS, the computer was my friend. I formed some fairly close relationships with other women with common interests on a forum, and blog-hopped late into the evening many times. I had a little knitting business that kept me busy online, and I started running co-ops (going in with other folks to buy things at reduced prices). My time on the computer increased. I often strived to balance it better - trying not to spend gobs of time on it while Graeme was awake. But much of my time and energy away from the computer involved things that needed to be taken care of online.

I knew it was taking up too much, so I cut back on some things. I spent less time on the forums. We were moving and in a new place, and I was pregnant, so a lot of my time online was spent in practical matters (finding new doctors, researching pregnancy-related tests and birth stuff)...

until I got bit by the blog bug.

Oh, can you be inspired by blogs! Friend blogs. Food blogs. Craft blogs. Kid blogs. Mom blogs. Marriage blogs. Green blogs. Simple blogs. Sewing blogs. Reading blogs. Picture blogs. Fashion blogs. Um, yeah.

I have to put a disclaimer out there that I got to know some pretty amazing women, read some incredible stories, discovered a great wealth of material to use in my kitchen and in my home, and learned a lot from reading blogs. Nothing at all wrong with them. Thanks to all of you who invest so much in your blog!

So I feel a little bad to say this, but I learned that I really had to cut back on the inspiration. It could gobble up time just as bad as anything I'd done before.

Not to mention the aspirations that filled my head about my own little blog. Should I rename it? How can I generate more traffic? Could I actually make money through my blog? And I invested mental energy on and off the computer: creating posts as I took my shower...my menu plans were fodder for a great blog post. How could I encourage my readers? How could I get more people to read me?

Fortunately, this phase was short-lived for me. I don't stick to things very well, and I quickly realized this was a downhill slope for me. Too much. Again.

God was working on my heart. After Cole's birth, the pressures of TBS started taking their tole on our family. Newborn baby-life can be tiring, but add to that my husband's schedule (3am mornings anyone?) and the fact that we were with one car after January '09. In D.C. (traffic makes everything more stressful). Trying to train a toddler to sleep in his own bed. Trying to minister to a husband you only see an hour every few days (it seemed). Realizing that when you join the military, whether you're the one that signed up or not, you're giving away parts of your life. It was a tough time, for sure.

For my sanity, and the sanity of my household, I had to give more of my time and attention to them. I started cutting back on anything that wasn't directly related to tangibly being with my children, caring for my home, thinking about how I can serve my husband and my family. Me and the kids kind of clung to each other. It just became less important, this relationship between me and the computer. The knitting business went bye-bye. I stopped doing co-ops. I still blogged. But I began to realize, I didn't need any more inspiration. I needed to live it.

I needed wisdom. Insight.

After all, it's not about the first two words that Solomon tells us to GET, though it cost *all* that you have.

It's about the last one. Seek after wisdom; search for her as for a hidden treasure, Proverbs 2 says. All the information and inspiration in the world cannot serve-up wisdom for you. It is something you must seek after. It is something you must give-up for.

Finally, me and the computer started figuring out where each of us needed to be. I needed to be away from it more. It needed to be a tool, not a master. A resource, not a relationship. Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful for its information. I still utilize search engines and forums occasionally to find out something I need to know. I learn about new things. I glean much inspiration from well-written blogs. I like to check in on my friends, see their pictures, keep up with their lives.

But I do all this with a greater degree of insight. I don't really care whether I keep up with my blog or not. That's just how it needs to be for me right now. I am not very active on forums or in blog carnivals and such. Hey, we don't even have cable and I often don't know about disasters or votes or important things like that until I hear it on the radio or see posts about it on facebook =)

I love not feeling obligated to check in on the computer. I love not needing to check my e-mail, even being okay with skipping a day...there's nothing that important going on.

Please don't take from this post that you ought to feel guilty if you keep up with your blog faithfully (thank you for doing that!). Don't take away that you should spend less time on your computer (unless, um, you should). Don't think that I find the internet, blogs, or forums evil (they are not).

Just take from it that technology and me are finally at a comfortable spot. I am the happiest I've been in years about it. Maybe in the future I'll be able to be more faithful posting on my blog. I'd love to get to that spot. Maybe not, though.

Meanwhile, thanks for reading! I hope this post is helpful. For some reason, it's been on my heart to share. Speaking of balance and wisdom...it's high time for me to head to bed. =)

Cole at 9 months

Ah, how the time flies! I conceived Cole around the time that Graeme was 9 months (random fact, I know) - why that stands out, for me, is how fast pregnancy goes, and infancy...before I know it, Cole will be Graeme's age! I can't even remember Graeme being as small as Cole is now.


Four words to describe Cole at 9 months: sweet, snuggly, busy, and determined.

Truly, Cole is the sweetest little baby I've ever known. I realize I'm quite prejudiced, but I think I can say that neutrally, because it's true!

While I look forward to seeing Cole's personality develop (talk, walk, all that fun stuff), I will miss Cole as a baby. He is just such an enjoyable baby to be around.



Snuggly! Oh my, Cole is affectionate! Lately, when Mark gets home, Cole will crawl as fast as his little legs will carry him to pull himself up on Mark's boots to get a welcome snuggle. :-)



Busy. Cole is usually on to the next thing before I can keep track of where he's been.


Determined. This boy gets his sights set on something and there is no stopping him or dissuading him from his purpose. He is Mr. Destructo - he likes to dump everything, destroy it, conquer it, throw it over, and move on LOL!

However, once he's ready to sleep, he'll snuggle up (no going to sleep without rocking for this boy!) and be gone in a few minutes.


Favorite vocalizations: tongue roll, "da-da", na-na
Favorite place to be: with Momma, but Daddy takes a close second :)
What makes you laugh: Graeme's antics (especially when he chases you or makes funny noises with you), tickles in your neck, arms and tummy, Daddy playing "boy play" with you
Favorite food: Momma milk, avocado, oatmeal, banana (just started solids a month or so ago)

We love you, Cole!

Video of Cole at the beach

We had a marvelous visit with my sister this past week. On Saturday, we spent the whole afternoon at the beach! I'll post some more pictures later today, but for now, here's a video of Cole. He's got a great pincer grasp and is loving his new discovery of Toasty-Os :-) He'll be nine months in a few days, so I'll have a little post about him up.

(Forgive me for forgetting - again- to turn the camera horizontal...I'll try to remember next time!)

What we've been up-to

Several of you have mentioned that you didn't know we were moving...I'm so sorry! I guess in all the hustle and bustle, I just neglected to fill my blog friends in on our happenings. So here we go, I'll fill in the blanks!

Mark finished TBS (The Basic School) in May. Here are some graduation pictures:




After graduation, we packed (whew, we were crazy to do a "self-move"!) All I can say about the drive from Virginia to Florida was that 4 days of 6-hour+ car trips with little ones (we had a few stops to stretch it out)...absolute craziness. Honestly, the boys were troopers! But even the sweetest boys start to go crazy after sitting in the car that long.

We made it, though, and God blessed us with a beautiful rental home within 1/2 mile of Escambia Bay (the bay Pensacola sits on). I do not exaggerate to say that we live in a resort-like community. Our house is big, open, airy...the perfect beach house. We've been to the beach probably 4 times since we moved. The boys love it! So do we - though this last visit is still painfully remembered every time I move my shoulders, as I foolishly neglected putting sunscreen on (sigh!)



We're enjoying this season of Mark's career...he is here for flight school (has a pilot's contract in the USMC) but the wait is looking like it will be April/May before he starts. Meanwhile, he'll have a light job that will bring him home around lunch time/nap time most days, with weekends off and NOTHING like the pressures we experienced during TBS. Truthfully, we are having a time of healing and renewal as a family, it's been wonderful. Cole loves to cuddle, and Graeme is exploring his new surroundings with relish :-)

A few Graeme Funnies

(Don't ask - it was a catastrophe that we turned into fun ;)

Since my oldest son is talking non-stop these days, he's coming up with some funnies that I thought I'd share.


Moe's is a Subway-style Mexican restaurant. Definitely one of our favorites. Whenever we're headed out to eat at Moe's, we'll tell Graeme we're going to Moe's, and then we all chime in with "Welcome-to-Moes!" (which all the employees holler out when someone enters the restaurant).

Tonight, leaving, Mama says, "Say bye-bye to Moes".

Graeme willingly waves and shouts: "Bye-bye, Welcome-to-Moes!"



We have really been working with Graeme on not pushing/kicking/knocking his brother down lately. Part of the discipline includes Graeme going to Cole, giving him a hug and kiss, and telling him he is sorry for ---. I guess you can see how much we've had to work on this when, this morning, I hear Cole start to cry, come around the corner, and can quickly see what *probably* happened, since Graeme is holding the toy Cole was playing with. Before I can get a word out, though, Graeme starts crying with Cole, rather frantically repeats "Hug, kiss, sorry!"

Then before his nap, I say, "Can you give Cole a night-night hug and kiss?" He goes up to Cole, very sweetly gives him a big hug and a smackaroo...and a very sincere "Sorry"! I wonder if he really understands what "Sorry" means. Ah, well.


Last week I told Graeme it is kind to ask people how they are doing. We practiced a bit. Now I often here a little voice: "Hi Mama, How are you doing?" I have to make sure to respond as we practiced, because I usually forget and just laugh and give him a big hug because it's so cute!

Under Construction

A fitting title for both the blog and my life right now! My blog is getting a re-vamp (again, I know). We're settling into our house here in FL...and it seems like every area I'd found a balance in the past year is getting re-hauled. Life-changes have a way of doing that, I suppose. We were in quite a groove when it came to our daily routine, meal planning, etc! So while we settle in once more, I'll get back to blogging more frequently - have lots of pictures to share and news to talk about.

Meanwhile, we are loving living within 20 minutes of the beach! Here's one of Graeme's favorite pasttimes:



And, one of Cole's (ha ha!) Aren't they so sweet when they sleep?

Week of Milestones!

The classic military joke is that it's only when the husband leaves that the car breaks down and the kids get sick. Thankfully, the car did not break down, but Mark has been gone all week in the field (the last one, yey!), and wouldn't ya know, we've had a busy week! WOW, talk about milestones:

1. Potty Training

Monday morning, Graeme sat down on his potty and peed. Just like that. And he's still doing it! Hasn't gone #2 in the potty yet.

I wasn't "ready"! Kids don't wait for us to be ready, though, do they?

2. First foods

Cole is eating avocado and seems to like it fairly well, don't you think?




3. Adventures of the Toddler Bed


Graeme is experimenting with the wonderful freedom he's discovered: no crib rails! It's been a bit of a trying week at times, for me, as I attempted to discern what was teething issues and what was an issue of the will - as the week went on, I realized this was a battle of wills. Last night and today were better, thankfully!

4. Toddler Molars

Graeme's baby-teething was remarkably "easy", but I think he's making up for it with his toddler molars. Extra fussiness, not wanting to eat as much as usual, more nursing than normal, messed-up sleeping patterns...you get the idea. I think the bottom two are done erupting, but the top two are just beginning (sigh).

He's got a beautiful smile, though, doesn't he? :)



5. Cole's first tooth!

At long last, we have a tooth. One of the bottom front erupted last night. And as is appropriate for my laid-back fellow, he did nothing unusual (let's hope all his teething is that easy LOL!)

You can't see it yet through a picture. But Cole willingly posed for me anyway.

Graeme's first "official" haircut

Mark and Graeme went on a field trip yesterday. When they came back, my toddler looked like a little boy! (Mark says the whole PX knew that Graeme was getting his haircut...but he did it, and I'm proud of him.) It's not perfect - hey, she did the best she could. It'll be much cooler for the summer, though. Hopefully the next few times will go more easily for him :)




Just had to get a few of my snuggly boy.

Cole at 6 months

Hard to believe it's been half of a year already! Our littlest man is growing quickly - won't be long before he is sitting up on his own and crawling. His first teeth should be arriving shortly, as well...all this gnawing and drooling. By now, Graeme had 4 teeth!

The pediatrician said he looks great (of course!). He hasn't started solids yet, and she encouraged us to start those (which I knew). I was surprised that she even recommended putting juice in the dry cereal - why do juice before they know enough to want it? Anyhow, I'll probably be experimenting in the next few weeks with making my own rice cereal, if I decide to start with that - I may start with avocado as I did with Graeme. Cole has not been interested in the occasional bit of banana I've been offering.

Cole is at the 75% mark in height (26"), the 45% in head circumference, and the 51% in weight (16lb.12oz). I was surprised at the weight %, as he seems quite chunky to me! The pediatrician shared an interesting fact, that breastfed babies are often in the higher percentiles in weight in the first few months, and then as your breastmilk fat starts to level off, their weight also levels off to more modest numbers, even in the lower percentiles. I find that it is a common myth that breastfed babies are plumper - and she confirmed for me, that it's the great percentage of formula-fed babies that guide these "averages"...so she's not concerned with a breast-fed baby that appears healthy and is eating frequently, though they may be at or below the mid-range of the percentiles.

Cole's personality? Developing, that's for sure! We're getting more demonstrations that he does have a will (which I was wondering about for awhile here - he's been so sweet and laid-back!). When he doesn't like something, he's starting to make himself heard, if ya know what I mean! He loves to interact with big brother, often laughing at his antics. I can't wait to see this develop more in the coming months. He loves people, loves to smile, and loves to cuddle.

The nurse asked if he is grasping, and trying to go get things out of his reach - I had to laugh! Is he, though?!! He gets his sights set on something, and he WILL get to it. He is a very determined mover! I know he is going to crawl early (Ped. said 8-9 months is average, but I cannot imagine him waiting that long.). He seems to me to be a "conqueror" - whereas Graeme was content to explore and study things, Cole's goals seem to be more along the lines of overcoming, conquering, and then moving on to the next conquest :-)

Trip to New Jersey

We went to NJ over Memorial Day Weekend (Mark got a 4-day weekend!). We've been wanting to get up to see his Grandmother and Aunt&Uncle. It was wonderful to finally spend some time with them. Last time we visited, I was barely pregnant with Graeme (in fact, I didn't know that I was pregnant yet, but kept feeling nauseous and ate like crazy LOL!)

Cole spent several naps like this:

Great Grandmother

Graeme has obviously missed our piano, and gave us several very nice "recitals". (Actually, he really does already have a nice touch - he doesn't bang.)

Went to the park several times

This is one of my all-time favorites of Graeme.


Isn't this too cute?

Graeme, always ready for a comfy lap and a good read.

Aunt and Uncle with the boys

Lots of new pics!

Here's a slideshow with recent pics from our Air and Space Museum trip.

Also is one of our new playroom rug (seen here in our living room surrounded by my attempt to organize our toys).

Graeme was helping me sort the toys, and created the very neat line you'll see of vehicles - notice that they are all facing the same direction. He is quite particular about such things, it makes me laugh!

And Cole is teething - don't you love the classic "ooh, cold!" face? I gave him a cold washcloth, and thankfully had the camera out for once ;-) He's almost able to sit by himself and is scooting all over - no crawling yet, but my guess is before we move!

Cole at 5 months

Cole's 5 month marker came and went so quickly, I quite forgot about it until this weekend! Look how much he is growing!







He's almost ready to sit by himself - he'll sit for a few seconds and then topple over. He's not crawling yet, but he sure can scoot and roll himself around quite well. Last week he discovered his screaming voice...it's hilarious, he likes to hear himself screech.

He's awfully handsome, isn't he? :-)

Videos!

Cole is blowing raspberries all the time these days. This isn't the greatest video, but hey, it's something :)


Graeme actually can count from 1-10 and sometimes 11 and 12...I just never have the camera around at "just the right time". I thought this one was funny because he's trying SO hard to make the numbers with his fingers. And for some reason, he really wanted to get to five! :)

My kids are super cute.

Family News:

Cole is over 4 months old! Sitting in the Bumbo now for a good stretch of time, he enjoys watching his big brother, blowing bubbles with his lips, giggling (we found tickles last week!), sitting in Momma's sling, and he's enjoying his exersaucer now, too. Busy boy the past few weeks!

Speaking of busy boys, Graeme's language is TAKING OFF!!!! It's absolutely amazing. He's trying pretty much any word I say that he hasn't said yet...AND, he's forming phrases and short sentences. "Basketball hoop", "silly mama", "poco potty?", and my favorite, "Daddy, Mama, Graeme, baby, poco"...he'll often chant that, as though he enjoys that he can recite our entire family :)

He can count, too - 1 to 10, he not only recognizes the numbers (he has for a few months now) but just this last week, he recites all of them! When we go check the mailbox (they are numbered from 1-20) he likes to stop and recite 1-10.

Mark is busy blowing up things and writing orders. Sorry this video is sideways, but we can't figure out how to get it upright. We had a wonderful long-weekend with him home (with no orders to write), which was just delightful.

I am busy cooking, learning, cleaning the house, lovin' on the boys, and researching some things I want to work on over the next few weeks (sourdough starter, soaking grains, handmade gifts for Mother's Day, more real-food-based recipes). I don't know if it's the warm weather or what, but I've been feeling so motivated to be productive. I believe part of it is due to the process I've experienced over the past few months of embracing my calling to be the keeper of my home...I've had a huge shift in mindset and focus. The not-having-a-car for 4 weeks only fueled that fire, and caused me to learn to be content by staying busy caring for my home and family in a way I haven't focused on for awhile.

Oh, and we have one car now! We actually decided to fix the Acura - meaning, we replaced the engine ($3500 - there went that tax refund.) - but it's driving like a young car again (the engine only had 67,000 miles on it). The Volvo is still in the shop. Mark's motorcycle is now running again, but he can't take it every day, depending on weather and timing...we get the car tomorrow. It's amazing how thrilling such a simple thing can be :-D

Cole is 3 months!

And now, a feast for sore eyes! I know our grandparents, parents, and other family stop by now and again to see if we have any new pictures. So, family, these are especially for you! :) I have to make myself remember to take pictures. Now if I could only be better at getting them printed out...we have literally almost 1,000 pictures stored on the computer/CDs, but no hard copies.

Cole is 3 months already, it's hard to believe. He's smiling a lot, laughing some - his daddy can really get him going - and cooing/burb-ling all the time. He's more verbal than I remember Graeme being at this age. He is quite persistent. He really focused on learning how to grasp things with his hands, and seems to enjoy making "projects" for himself (spending 10 minutes working on bringing his hands together, for example). He's rolling all over, and sometimes I leave him on the floor for a moment and come back to find his head over where his feet were...he manages to scoot himself around somehow. He's such a happy baby, especially if you talk to him and "listen" to him. He's very social!



Look at those chunky thighs!



Hands taste good - he's already drooling a lot and gnawing things.



Not to be outdone, his almost-2-year-old big brother is awfully cute, too :) Wow, Graeme is talking SO much. Most of it is still in some other language, but he said his first two-word phrase today: "Big Ball"! His play-time is becoming more boy-like, to me, than toddler. I'm not sure how to explain it, but maybe I'm just in mourning because my first sweet little baby is about to turn TWO YEARS OLD! ACK! Where has the time gone?