Extended breastfeeding, Part II

photo by Serlunar

Did you know...

.....that the WHO recommends breastfeeding continue at least until 2 years?

.....that a woman's risk for osteoporosis and breast cancer goes down significantly the more years she nurses?

.....it takes between 2 and 6 years for a child's immune system to fully mature?

.....that all of the research available (only up to 24 months) shows increasing benefits the longer you breastfeed?


Why I nurse my toddler


1. Nursing provides the most complete nourishment for an infant, and continues to be the best supplemental nourishment for a young child.

In addition to the facts I shared initially, there is a growing body of evidence that supports breastfeeding in general, and extended breastfeeding in particular. You can read more about those studies and facts in the resources I'll list at the end of this post.

Nursing offers me a peace of mind during this picky-toddler-syndrome. My oldest loves most any fruit, spaghetti, breads, mac 'n cheese, yogurt, crackers, dried fruit, etc....but he diligently avoids vegetables. At times, it has driven me crazy. I fear that he will never be a healthful eater, I worry about whether he's getting a sufficient supply of vitamins and minerals, I wonder if he'll develop a sweet tooth, I wish that he wasn't so addicted to dairy, and on and on. For me, nursing answers these dilemmas. While my son learns to eat his vegetables, nursing continues to "fill in the gaps", offering the perfect balance of vitamins and minerals, along with antibodies which boost his yet-immature immune system.

2. Extending the nursing relationship into the emotional toddler years provides both Momma and Child with a needed place of security.

If you're a Mother of a toddler, you know how difficult this period can sometimes be for your little one. I've found nursing to be such a boon - for both of us! There have been several occasions where he was having a meltdown and nursing rescued us. On his trip to the dr. in October, Graeme was horrified by them sticking the thermometer under his armpit. Oh my, he truly was *terrified*! Traumatized by the whole experience, he asked to nurse after the dr. left - in fact, he kept repeating "Mama Do" (which is his word for mama milk) over and over like a mantra to reassure himself.

There have also been moments when *I* was having a meltdown (yep, does happen occasionally!) and nursing helped me recover and gave me a chance to relax and remind myself of what mothering is all about.

Granted, nursing is not the only way to comfort a young one, definitely. However, for us, it has given us opportunities to re-group, re-vive, and the glances we share at these times (Kinda like "Whew, okay, we're going to make it") speak for themselves.

3. Nursing is a "miniature" of Mothering.

It requires all the attributes that Motherhood demands - patience, forgiveness, gentleness, setting boundaries, giving of oneself even when you don't feel like it. And I'd say this is more pronounced the longer you nurse - especially if you nurse through pregnancy and tandem nurse.

4. Nursing my oldest greatly helped with his ease of transition to being a big brother and "sharing" Momma.

I definitely attribute much of that success to his continued access to nursing. Graeme nursed a TON the first week after Cole came home - which, while I did feel like all I did was nurse for awhile, it actually did me a favor when I got engorged!, and, it seemed to be just the ticket to remind Graeme that I'm still the same Momma and I'll still be there for him, now there's just another baby for us to love.

I'll do a separate post on the benefits and fun of tandem nursing!

There you have it, my "top-4". I've got one more post planned on the myths surrounding Extended Breastfeeding...and I'll combine some aspects of Tandem nursing in that one as well.

It works for me!


Resources:
LLI - Breastfeeding Toddlers
LLI - Extended Breastfeeding Resource Page
An interview with Katherine Dettwyler, Ph. D - Extended nursing: The human norm
Peggy O'Mara on the recent "The Case Against Breastfeeding" article in The Atlantic Monthly - Case Closed: Breast is Best
KellyMom - Nursing During Pregnancy/Tandem Nursing
Adventures in Tandem Nursing

Extended breastfeeding - Part 1

I can't tell you how wonderfully tandem nursing has been working for our family. I understand that not everyone makes the same decisions regarding extended breastfeeding, and I fully respect the need for each Momma to make a decision that is right for your family (and in some cases, the decision is made for you!).

That being said, I love it :-) I decided to continue nursing through pregnancy, figuring Graeme would probably naturally wean as my milk dried up.

Well, he had different ideas! He continued to nurse even once my milk was gone (by around 20 weeks). With Mark leaving for OCS, along with our impending move, it didn't seem like the right time to wean. We both treasured the closeness while Mark was gone.

As I contemplated the concept of weaning, doing much reading and thinking about it, I couldn't really find a reason to stop nursing. If mother and child are both still enjoying the experience, why stop? It is the most natural form of comfort, security, and quiet (all of which are in high demand during the toddler years). Of course, a Mother can still offer those without nursing. But since Graeme continued to want to nurse, and I continued to enjoy it, we kept going.

I kept waiting for him to get tired of nursing and getting no milk. However, I think he knew that surely, eventually, it would come back. And did it! The first week after Cole was born, once my milk came in, Graeme was enthralled with the bounty :-) In fact, that was probably the most challenging period, as Cole was nursing, I was recovering, and Graeme wanted to nurse very frequently - who wouldn't, all that wonderful rich milk that he'd been holding out for all these months!?

We made it through that one challenging week, setting a few boundaries and getting settled with how to handle two nurslings. I tandem nursed several times (nursing one on each breast) - once I got the hang of it, I truly enjoyed it. I would look down at my two little ones contentedly resting their heads close to one another, and I believe that there are few things so sweet as being a Mother at a time like that. I praised God for giving me the opportunity to provide nourishment, both physical and emotional, to both of my children in this way.

So here we are, Graeme is 26 months old, and still nursing! He is showing some signs of weaning independence, as I've read is common between 2-3 years. Up to this point, he has nursed to sleep almost every day of his life. Now, he'll often sit up and want to read a few books before going to bed...I figure, if I get pregnant in the next year and wish to wean, this will be a natural way to do it. We'll continue to cuddle, and gradually shorten the nursing session and lengthen the reading time. (At least, that's what I have in mind...we'll see what actually transpires!)

Yes, I plan on nursing until either Graeme seems ready or I am ready to wean. I believe we will know when it is time.

What is it like? Why do it? What kind of boundaries do you set? Do you make enough milk for both children?
Well, I'm going to do 2 (or 3 :) more parts to this "series" and hope to answer some of those questions, and point you to further resources if you're interested. I'm not trying to convince all of you dear readers that this is the "only way" to go, or make you feel bad if you don't nurse beyond X point - but most of us don't run into tandem nursers every day, so if I can help clear up misunderstandings or misconceptions by sharing my experience, I hope to!

Feel free to leave a comment with any questions you've always wondered about tandem/extended breastfeeding - I won't mind answering, if I can. I'm not an expert, but I've done my share of reading on the topic :)

Do you nurse? How long have you nursed? What do you love about it?