I am here to meet your needs

Often, when my children wake up in the night, I rush to their side and murmur, "Mama's here, mama's here". Often with tenderness; other times with exhaustion; and sometimes, I'm sad to say, with frustration at yet another hour of sleep interrupted.

As I whispered it to Cole this afternoon, waking from his nap rather violently, I took delight in being there for him...gently nursing him back into slumber so that he could later wake with renewed energy for life again.

To me, the phrase "I am here to meet your needs" describes the essence of mothering young ones. God designed Mothers to be the lifegivers for their young. We see it throughout His creation; and most eloquently in His image-bearers, humankind.

Without a supplement (formula, a wet nurse...), infants would literally die without the sustenance their Mother's milk provides. Without touch, infants will not thrive. Without someone to listen to and respond to their needs, babies are helpless! By design, their cry demands an answer.

And God's answer was Mama. The person He created to constantly care for a baby. To nourish him; cradle him; smile at him; talk to him; care for him...to love him by meeting his every need, no matter what.

It is a truly noble calling.

At the same time, it often seems to be this precise round-the-clock neediness that can feel totally overwhelming, can't it? I recall sitting on my bed in the wee hours of the morning a few days after Graeme's birth. His was a c-section, so I was dealing with surgery recovery, which I found to be much worse, hormonally, than my natural birth with Cole. Anyhow, I sat on my bed, nursing Graeme for what seemed like the fourth time already that night, and I just started weeping as it struck me: I would never be an independent human being again. Yes, marriage is a dependent-relationship...my husband definitely needs me =) But nothing like a baby needs me, especially a nursing baby. I realized that, for the foreseeable future, I would be tied to a needy little one who would demand my attention, whether direct or indirect, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There would be no "recess", no "lunch break" - no "vacation" from parenting.

Having a baby makes you unselfish, whether you're willing to be or not!

It was a process, for me, though, to accept my design. Then it took awhile more for me to embrace it. I think that will be a story I share another day, as (speaking of meeting needs) it's time to finish dinner preparations and help my boys share the tape measure. Ha!

Some pictures from our last few weeks...

My "bumper sticker" for these baby-years

Or, I should say, one of the many I could share. Do you ever think of a phrase that would look really good as a bumper sticker?
I can't say I think of one very often, but yesterday I did.

It was just a long day, and I felt like I was cleaning up mess after mess after mess. My toddler had an accident; I did like countless sinks of dishes, as I was cooking all day; working with a laundry pile that seemed to multiply as the day went on, the blueberry that spilled on the seat that I had to feverishly try to get out before it stained....and so on - you get the idea.

On days like that, I can find myself weary with the seemingly endless demand on my energies for these messes we all make. That can disintegrate to complaining and "whining" (even if only in my head!) about these repetitive chores that come with a home with small children (and a momma who tends toward the messy, I mean, artistic side of things).

As I prayed for the Lord to change my viewpoint, I realized this: that Life is worth the Messes.

Living comes with demands, yes; but it comes with rewards as well. In fact, the living we do day-in and day-out is full of so much LIFE - learning, giving, trying, falling, getting back up; creating, exploring; resting, worshipping, eating; loving, hugging, laughing, crying.


So, yes, my young ones make extra laundry because they are learning: how to go potty in the big potty, how to hold a spoon or a cup.

I make lots of dishes cooking healthy, nourishing food.


We spill paint, milk, water, juice, markers, glue....but we spill them because we are using them to create, refresh and explore.

The glass is either half-full or half-empty. The choice - which way to view it - lies entirely with me.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

Proverbs 31:17

Have to share...

this post on mothering, by Sheri of Large Family Mothering:
http://ladyofvirtue.blogspot.com/2009/04/anti-mothering-propaganda.html

It has me tearing up - Sheri writes very provocatively, and this post in particular struck me in an important way. I was just confessing to God that I had not embraced His calling for me today - I've been going about my day kinda on my own terms, and this post brought me back to rejoice in my Creator's creativity and wisdom in making me a Mother.

Celebrate how small

On our meander through the neighborhood yesterday, we ran into several of the babies that are around Cole's age. The general conversation usually begins by one of us parents commenting on how big the other's baby is getting - "Wow, he's grown so much since I last saw him!" or "How much does she weigh now?" Then we comment on how fast time has flown, that they are already 6 months old or whatever. How big they are getting! How soon they will be riding tricycles or going down the slide!

But tonight, as my son's teeny hand gripped my thumb and he drifted off to sleep, I marveled at how small he is. What an amazing thing God has done to create a being in his image in such a tiny package. How quickly he will be a man - before I can blink, almost - and his hand probably larger than mine will do all sorts of incredible things.

So tonight, son, I celebrate how small you are. Small enough to yet cuddle in my arms, nurse you to sleep, and cradle you close to me.

A Wise Woman

A wise woman builds her home,
but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.
Proverbs 14:1(NLT)

Last night, I perused our copy of The Richest Man Who Ever Lived: King Solomon's Secrets to Success, Wealth, and Happiness by Steven Scott while brushing my teeth (talk about multi-tasking!).

This verse stood out to me - as it always does. I mean, what a verse! Honestly, I don't recall what Scott was saying about the verse (I was brushing my teeth, after all), but I meditated on it for awhile before falling asleep.

1. What a powerful influence a woman has on her home! In fact, to use the word "influence" is probably not sufficient. This verse says that a woman will either build her home or destroy it. That's more than influence...I can't even think of a word for it. Destiny? The very destiny of our homes. A sovereign God, in Whose hands is every scheme of man, yet writes that it is possible for the foolishness of a woman to actually tear down her home. Yikes!

2. I'm reminded of the purposeful, intent focus I must have. A wise woman is continually in the process of building her home. The word "build" involves time, materials, planning, counsel, more time, effort, sweat, sacrifice, money, more time.

I am thankful for the progress God's helped me make in my homemaking over the past few months - but I have such a long way to go! As I thought on what I need to do to continue to build my home, I saw so many weak areas. Things I've been lazy about, neglectful, or wasteful. Commitments I'd made that I've let slide again. Areas I've needed to change, yet because I didn't follow through by writing them down or focused some mental energy on them, they are still shoddy.

I realize that no one will be perfect until we are glorified with Christ; I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty :) When you meditate on verses like this, though, it is impossible not to look in the mirror and take a serious look at how you're using your energy and time.

On our way to drop my husband off at 4:30 this morning (so that we could have the car today), the radio station had a special report on the dilemma the military is facing with the children of deployed troops, specifically female troops. 10% of deployed troops are women, and many of them are single mothers or are married to servicemen, leaving their children with family members or friends when deployed. The military's problem, the reporter shared, is how to help these parents once they return home, as they are dealing with parenting along with post-traumatic stress, injuries, and a host of other issues.

Now, I'm not going to say this to bash our female troops - I really feel for them, and am only beginning to appreciate the sacrifices our troops make for us. And I realize some of my readers may not agree with my following assessment, but it is not intended to argue for or against woman in the military.

But I thought of this verse, and had to wonder - if more of our woman 1)were pursuing wisdom (A wise woman builds her home), and 2) were spending most of their time caring for their homes, not in the workplace or overseas (A wise woman builds her home, not her career or world peace or whatever)..would our homes be in better shape? I believe they would.

While this particular verse doesn't necessarily make the case for woman staying at home vs. working full time, it sure makes the point that it is a wise woman who puts her valuable talents and energy into building her home.

Prayer: how God changes my mind

God answered a prayer for me this weekend! It was a small, personal request that God had laid on my heart to pray about. In the process of praying for this - indeed, in order for God to work - I had to lay aside "my way" and submit to His.

When He answered my prayer, I found myself reflecting on what exactly the purpose of prayer is.

Prayer is more than a "honey-do list" for God...more than a mere submission of everything I want to happen. While Scripture does teach that God delights, as a Father, to answer our requests and give us good things, prayer is also more than that. It goes beyond a "wish-list".

It is an opportunity for our thoughts line up with God's.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

Even as we submit our requests, we are seeking to have our thoughts changed.

When we take the time to talk to God, the Spirit has an opportunity to work in us. Have you ever prayed when you're angry? You either have to repent of the anger, or you choose to hold on to the anger, and in the process, reject the work of the Spirit of God (a dangerous choice!). As the song says, there are just two choices on the shelf: pleasing God, or pleasing self...prayer doesn't allow us to hang on to our desires - we have to surrender them!

Prayer is a chance for the Spirit to mold our desires into His own. Perhaps we begin by praying that God would remove our sickness. As we continue to beseech Him, going to His Word, praying with our Bibles open...He actually begins to change our desires. We see that sometimes God allows sickness because that IS our "good thing".

For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

And maybe our prayer changes from "God, please heal me" to "God, please show me how this is your good thing for me."

So this weekend, when God answered my prayer, I sat and smiled at the irony. Had I chosen my way in that moment, He could not have answered the very prayer I'd prayed for several weeks. But when I, by the Holy Spirit's work in my heart, followed His way...He worked.

Rainy Day Thoughts

I'm not sure why, but I just haven't felt like posting on the blog this week. Not because we haven't been busy - we have. Not because I haven't had a lot on my mind - I have. So, here's what we've been doing, and here's what I've been thinking about, in no particular order!

We walked to the library yesterday. I think it's about 2 miles one-way. It was a long walk, but boy, was it fun to have a trip for the afternoon. Hey, when the car doesn't work, use your feet!

I really struggled with feeling down during the first half of this week...maybe because Mark spent the whole weekend writing an order, so we kinda had to hang out on our own.

I'm so thankful God doesn't leave us in our sin for long - He awakened me to my inward focus and turned me to the Cross, where I saw that Jesus suffered in my place so that I might have life, and have it more abundantly in Him.

We made a card for Grandma and Grandpa (their birthdays are this weekend). Used lots of glue and stamps (Graeme loves stamps these days).

God knocked on the door of my heart last night, to remind me about what I am doing and why it is so important. While reading the introduction online to the Hughes' book, Disciplines of a Godly Family, I saw again that I am about a "great business" each day. Though there are certainly a multitude of mundane tasks, I have the delightful privilege to teach my children about God, whether we sweep the floors, read books, or empty the dishwasher. As Robert Dabney wrote long ago:

The education of children for God is the most important business
done on earth. It is the one business for which the earth
exists. To it all politics, all war, all literature, all money making
ought to be subordinated; and every parent especially ought to
feel, every hour of the day, that next to making his own calling
and election sure, this is the end for which he is kept alive by
God — this is his task on earth.

After reading this post by Kelly, I listened to the series of messages on YouTube by Mary Kassian. What an excellent, timely overview of what's happened to woman over the past century. It gave me fresh hope and a desire to embrace God's design for my life.

So that's a bit of what's been on my mind and what we've been up to. How are you doing? What's going on in your lives this week, readers?

Gratituesday: No car for three weeks!

That's right, my trusty Volvo has been in the shop for three weeks. My husband is gone from 5:30am to 6:00-7:00pm every day. I've been house-bound with a toddler and an infant for going-on three weeks.

So, you probably figure this post is going to be about how grateful I am for having a car, since I've discovered how much we rely on it. Wrong! :-D

These few weeks without a vehicle have taught me some really important lessons about myself. The first being that I actually can "make it" without a car all week, if necessary. I got creative with my meal plan a few times because I didn't have a particular ingredient; I kept a pile going of things that needed to go to the post office. I put a list on the fridge of miscellaneous things I needed to get or do.

Secondly, I spent a less money! Always a good thing. Besides the obvious (not using gas), there's also the afore-mentioned creativity in regards to stretching the meals. There were a few times I would have otherwise popped out to grab a craft item, or a spur-of-the-moment trip for entertainment (be that PetsMart or Target). Well, all of that adds up, so if I'm not going, I'm not spending!

Most revealing for me was the revelation that my car can be a crutch for me. Sometimes, I run to the car for comfort and rescue. Life can get hairy with two little ones under two, you know!, and being able to load us up in the car, if only to go to Target for a few hours, can be just the ticket for me on a long rainy afternoon. (Before you start to feel guilty for anything, I'm not trying to say that it's wrong to go out when everyone needs a change of pace, or that a mama doesn't need a trip sometimes - I'm all for it, and we'll have some fun once we get our vehicle back!)

But is it healthy for me to use the car as a means of escape from realities that I'd rather not face-up to? To "get me through" a particularly difficult day. Instead of facing my sinfulness, fighting off my despondency with the Gospel, looking to the Holy Spirit for comfort and calm, I would hop in the car to be distracted by a trip somewhere. It's just been really revealing NOT to have the car, so I'm forced to deal with the long hours and rough days.

Okay, so how's it been without that crutch? Honestly? Some days I've given in to my sinfulness. I can't go anywhere in the car, and the weather has been cold/rainy/snowy a good bit...so I'm stuck. I get impatient with Graeme. I poke around aimlessly. I tune Cole out when he's fussing more than I normally would, just because I don't have the kindness, the patience, to put aside my selfishness to care for his needs. Yep, it's been ugly some days.

So as I've "weaned off" of the car LOL - I've been working on filling that need with good things. With Christ-honoring things. Where I would have looked to the car for distraction, instead I'm looking for ways to fill my thoughts with the Gospel, and redirect my attention to those things God has called me to fulfill today. I stop my selfish thoughts, I turn to the Spirit, and I ask for strength. I quote some Scripture in my head. I turn on a CD that brings my gaze away from myself.

I am seeing more vividly how when God calls, He also provides. He's called me to be a wife, mother, and keeper at home...and He is the water from which I drink to be FULL so that I can give myself to that calling with a FULL heart.

Who knew? What lessons a broken Volvo could teach.

For more Gratituesday posts, visit Laura at Heavenly Homemakers.